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Couples Commons

Forest Lake

 

💍 God’s Design for Relationships:

A Christian Guide for All Couples

 

 God’s Blueprint for Love, Sex & Marriage

 

A Kingdom Guide for All Couples — Dating, Engaged, Living Together, or Married

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” — (Psalm 127:1)

Culture offers confusion. God offers clarity.
In a world of casual hookups, cohabitation, and spiritual compromise, God still calls couples to something better — a relationship built on truth, grace, and covenant.

 

This guide is for:

  • Couples dating or engaged

  • Couples living together

  • Married couples in crisis or thriving

  • Believers with a heart to realign with God's truth

 

No shame. No condemnation. Just bold, biblical truth — and a way forward.

 

🔹 What God Designed: Marriage, Covenant, and Purpose

 

Marriage isn’t a trend. It’s a sacred design.

Here’s what God celebrates:

  • Marriage between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24 & Matthew 19:4–6)

  • A lifelong covenant, not just a legal contract (Malachi 2:14)

  • A relationship that reflects Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:22–33)

  • A space for sexual intimacy, trust, and safety (Hebrews 13:4)

  • A foundation where children are discipled and families thrive (Psalm 127:3–5)

 

This is not old-fashioned — it’s God-fashioned. It’s still the blueprint for lasting love.

 

⚠️ What Happens Outside of God’s Design

 

God doesn’t give warnings to control us. He gives them to protect us.

Here are some common relationship patterns and what Scripture says:

 

Living Together (Unmarried)

  • Lacks covenant commitment

  • Leads to instability, spiritual drift

  • (Hebrews 13:4) — "Let the marriage bed be kept pure..."

 

Sex Before Marriage

  • Biblically defined as sin

  • Damages intimacy and trust

  • (1 Thessalonians 4:3) — "God’s will is your sanctification..."

 

Same-Sex Relationships

  • Outside God’s creation design

  • Not aligned with Scripture’s vision for marriage

  • (Romans 1:26–27) — “Exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones…”

 

Casual Hookups or Dating Without Purpose

  • Self-seeking, not Christ-centered

  • Leaves emotional and spiritual wounds

  • (1 Corinthians 6:18) — “Flee sexual immorality…”

 

Unequally Yoked (Christian + Non-Christian)

  • Divided vision, spiritual tension

  • Creates confusion in leadership and values

  • (2 Corinthians 6:14) — “Do not be unequally yoked…”

 

💔 These aren’t “church rules.” They’re spiritual realities. Ignoring them leads to pain, not peace.

 

🛠️ 3. What To Do: Realigning With God’s Design

 

Every couple can course-correct, repent, and rebuild. Here’s how to respond based on your situation:

 

If you’re living together unmarried
 

→ Pray about either separating or getting married soon. Pursue premarital counseling.

 

If you’re sexually active outside marriage
 

→ Confess. Repent. Set new boundaries. Invite accountability.

 

If you're in a same-sex relationship
 

→ Seek truth and healing through discipleship. You are deeply loved. Jesus can renew your identity and future.

 

If you're dating someone who doesn’t follow Christ
 

→ Pray for them. Ask God if you should move forward. Seek spiritual alignment.

 

If you're married but struggling
 

→ Recommit to the covenant. Get godly counseling. Invite the Holy Spirit to restore what was broken.

 

God’s grace is real. So is His standard. He doesn't just restore — He redeems.

 

📖 Scriptures to Stand On

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  • (Ephesians 5:1–33) — Husbands and wives, love like Christ

  • (1 Corinthians 6:18–20) — Honor God with your body

  • (Romans 12:2) — Be transformed by renewing your mind

  • (1 John 1:9) — Confess and be cleansed

  • (Romans 8:1) — There is no condemnation for those in Christ

 

📦 Free Christian Tools for Couples

These are 100% free and rooted in Christian values.

 

🧠 Compatibility & Premarital Quizzes

 

✅ Living in Wellbeing Compatibility Test
 

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✅ Marriage.com Christian Compatibility Quiz
 

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✅ Focus on the Family Marriage Inventory

(PDF)
 

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✅ Restoration Church Premarital Questions

(PDF)
 

 

 

 

✅ TREK Premarital Questionnaire

(PDF)
 

 

 

 

 

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Statistics

🌍 Global Relationship & Marriage Trends

 

📉 Marriage Is Declining

  • Fewer people are getting married worldwide.

  • In Europe, the marriage rate has dropped by nearly half since the 1960s.

  • Couples are marrying later in life than ever before.

 

👥 Cohabitation Is Rising

  • Over 75% of newlyweds in the U.S. lived together before marriage.

  • Nearly 60% of adults under 45 in Western nations have cohabited.

  • In many countries, most couples now live together before marrying — or never marry at all.

 

💔 Higher Risk Without Covenant

  • 62% of unmarried cohabiting couples break up within 10 years.

  • Cohabiting before engagement increases divorce risk.

  • Multiple live-in partners before marriage = 40% higher divorce odds.

 

🔁 Divorce Remains Common

  • The global divorce rate hovers between 1.6 to 2 per 1,000 people.

  • In the U.S., most marriages last just under 8 years.

  • Shortest marriages: Qatar (5 years). Longest: Italy (18+ years).

 

👶 Marriage & Parenthood Are Separating

  • In Europe and North America, 30–60% of children are born outside marriage.

  • In contrast, Japan sees fewer than 2% of births outside wedlock.

 

💡 What It Means for Couples Commons

  • Living together is easy. Staying together is not.

  • Marriage still offers the strongest long-term stability.

  • Culture may shift, but God’s design still works.

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